Am I worth 500 $ !!!!!!


My insurance is exp. on August 1st. And its cost a whooping 500 $. And in times when you are living on a shoe string budget then even 500 $ look like $ 5 mil.

I was going though my finances today and thought am i worth 500 $. The answer ... " NO " !!!.
I cost a lot less that $ 500. :P

Believe me its very hard ... to give away those 500 $ every 6 months. Seriously .. i can do 4 10000 ft jumps, or go on a road trip after renting a car for say a week, or i can buy a Pool table.
I can think of a thousand things worth doing with that amount of 500.

But why that insurance !!!!!..

And whats with this university, why cant i enroll for classes without the insurance. That's simply my problem, my life .... i'll deal with my health and life problems, why is the university so worried.

Its not that i am after money ... or i would die for it ( money is one of the last things in my lists of priorities ), but why spend it on some shity insurance.

Terrace Walk !!!!!


As usual i had nothing to do this evening ( rather i didnt want to do anything ). I was bored of watching movies/tv shows on my laptop , or lets say i was bored of my laptop. And only source of entertainment in and near univ is few hrs of quality Pool time. Bust since I dont have a Pool table here and the student center closes at 5, above all that I could hardly think of anything worth calling a time pass .... so i took a terrace walk.

In-fact !!! : I wrote this blog post just to kill time ...

I walked rather hopped out of the window on to the terrace with my best friend " My cam ".
Did some random shooting which included a shot of my camera itself. And believe me it wasnt me that took it, .. it was the cam itself . Sadly the only visilble body part was the strap and the lid.

Ohh ya there was one moment when i almost slipped of the edge. At least some excitement was there even though i lasted for few seconds.

This wasnt that much fun but .... was better than banging my head on the laptop.

" The Chimney "

Some Church

Comstock Place

Mind Twister !!!!!!


My brain is screwed !!!!!.... BIG TIME !!!!!!!!!!!
I do silly things and the shity thing is I laugh on my own idiocities ( thats not even a word .. but i like it )

Things I do:

* This has happened twice in one wk. Instead of using a shampoo i ended up using the shower gel on my brainless screwed head.

* I prepared myself 2 slices of bread & jam took the ice cubes out for juice and guess what ..... i kept the bread / jam in the freezer and was walking away with the ice tray to my room.

* ( this happened a few day ago ) .. i was supposed to put some sugar in something instead i made it salty ( the usual F****up we all do .. sometimes )

* I keep things someplace and after a while i forget about their whereabouts. ( this happens mostly with my pens )



And as i say " of all the things i have lost i miss my mind the most " !!!!!


" where is my mind " ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bPE2zKbORF0

Weird Things happening !!!!!

I guess the title says it all, so i'll just list a few of them:


* I have been sleeping a lot less than i normally do. Some how my sleeping hrs have drastically reduced to 4-5 hrs and i cant sleep after that. How badly I need a a good nap only my eyes can tell. ( My eyes are so red in the morning even the mirror gets scared).

* I dream of me getting stuck in a cross fire and eventually getting shot. ( i guess these are the after effects of Counter Strike )

* I take out all my frustration on the Pool balls.

* Strange things are happening and i have no clue how to interpret them.

* I have a hunch that people have started hating me and in some or the other way they mock me because of my bluntness. ( and / or may be for some other reasons )

Who cares ... !!!!


This is "again" one of my serious posts. And as my friend " SLY " comments : dude that's some heavy stuff . And seriously i dont know why i am writing this but i guess i feel like..

So here it is. Lately i have been thinking about few things, things that are not my problem but they kind of become mine. I guess this is because i think about them a lot or simply because i care about.
I try to hide them but they some how find their way to the surface. And no matter how glaringly obvious these problems become, nobody seems to care. " Story of my life ". Your problems you deal with them.

People wont budge, no matter how i hard you try to make people understand what you feel and what you want. And in the end you just leave it to fate. And hope time would do its job and make things right.

I have been trying to make people understand but now i know that they just dont care.

Reason?.. i mark it as " UNKNOWN ".

But they all pretend to care and as Shakespeare said " the world is a stage ...... " indeed it is ... and these people they all ACT ... ( and boy they ACT well ).




Quote: " I inhabit a weak, frail, decayed tenement, battered by the winds and broken in by the storms, and all i know is that the landlord does not care " !!!!!

Black River .. My rafting experience !!!!












Today we went for a 5 hr violent ride on rapids of Black River. It had about 14 level 3-4 rapids. And believe me in 2 or 3 of those ... people had their hearts in mouth.

The best of all was a rapid named "cruncher". It was like 3 rapids clubbed together. Towards the end were two big rocks ( facing each other ) and two small rocks ( well inside the water ) were on there left and right of the big ones ( like the corners of a sq ). The big rocks formed two mounds of water and the small rocks caused turbulent tides. And the effect all these 4 rocks had was of a huge natural juggler.

Before we went into this " juggler " our guides told us about the hazards of this rapid, so just in case anybody wanted to back out that was the best time to raise the white flag.

We were in total 9 people. 5 were in one raft and 4 were in the other. We were supposed to go upstream into that "juggler". Both the teams couldnt do it @ first, so all hopped into one raft and moved in.

And here came the moment. We were counting our peddle strokes " 1 2 3" " 1 2 3". When we started the third round our 1 2 3z .. people started falling out, one by one.. 5 of them went down.
The guide told us not to swim in that juggler if we happen to fall get caught in it , because it was like a whirlpool, you would move in circles and the swim strokes wouldnt do any good. So we were asked to roll up in a ball and hope the water would spit us out. In the worst case scenario (if we couldnt get out of the spin ) our only hope was a rope.

4 of us we in the boat the whole time. And the raft was like a ball in hands of that rapid. It kept spinning, tossing , flipping us in every possible direction it could.

Finally after 4-5 minutes in the "juggler" we were thrown out of the rapid (not the raft ).

Then we all came down a 12 ft fall rapid and we were done with out tour of 14 rapids.


It was a fun, thrilling , "egg"citing , adrenalin pumping ride.


My next adventure and a long awaited one as well is a " sky dive ". I guess that would be in September. 2 months to save some money, 2 months to have the drive of a lifetime and 2 months to have a 10 sec tour of "heaven".

All that's left is.....



Call it philosophy or call some random words from some random useless mind but my dear friends this is a "Gospel Fact".

Today i saw one of my friends put this in his gtalk ( google mail chat ) status bar and i couldnt resist putting this up here...



" People want to care, but they forget to do that. People want to help, but soon realize they can do something better with their time. People you wish would care, have a lot going in their lives to bother. People who will care, well you can't tell them you need care. People say they wont, but they forget you. You would like to think that you are unique, unforgettable; but it wont be soon before the world forgets you. All thats left is...for you to die alone. "

The Song of Hope !!!!


Well lately i have been thinking a lot about certain things. They all just keep raising questions. Its like a chain reaction of Qs, one gives way to two and those two to 4 ... and so on. And i am just not thinking straight. ( Its not that i cant but its more like i am not able to ). Weird thoughts buzz in and move out. These are all about me and my present life and also about things that i " WILL"
( most certainly i will ) face in years to come.

All i need is hope. !!!!

In times like these i always turn to music.
They say music is the doctor of all.



So i just keep listening to this one song all day long. " Stairway to heaven " : Led Zeppelin .
I found a live version of this masterpiece by Ld Zep and the rythm is better that the original version. The deapth in its lyrics is simply divine.
Its like this song is keeping alive these days. And the best part is i dont get bored by listening to it repeatedly.
Mostly i try to listen to floyd in these situations but i dont know why i rate this one above foyd's songs these days.


Here is the song..... " Stairway To Heaven " : led Zeppelin 1973

Get me something mouth watering, finger licking and slurpy to eat !!!!


Its been almost an year now and " and " i have never, not even once gorged in tasty meal.
I miss all the chicken tikkas, tanrdooris, paneer tikkas, halwa, gujiyas.
Everyday i eat my hand made disgusting food. Everyday i go in the kitchen hoping that i'll come out saying " ohhh my God .. this food, this .. my hand made food is so awesome" !!!!. Well you know its a hope.... just a hope.
And as my culinary skills are way beyond "worst" i can hope only for some miracle to get some "ohh M G " kind food off my hand.

"THE VDO"....

This is some random vdo on some random TP (time pass) i do these days.
In case the vdo looks 2 fast:
this is what i was doing for about 2 hrs:

*) gtalk chat
*) ph calls
*) did some writing
*) tore every single molecule of the chewing gum i had in my mouth (that is y u see my lips moving)
*) ate maggie
*)tried to study .. ended up trying only
*) fiddled around with the football
*) etc etc .....

just in case... the link doesnt work... here is the link



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4tcCpdOJH0

A strange feeling, A weird Desire, Another Dream. !!!!!






" Tricolor": that's the flag ...

This is me Ashish Agrawal ( i see a spell check under my name ), and i guess this what i am "natures another mistake". Recently i saw a movie " wanted ", the actor Googled his name everyday just to know whether he exists in the dictionary of the world. Like me he got a prompt " no search results found ". This is not about " i want to be famous , popular or a rockstar", this is about one of dreams. Which ironically demands me to be a known figure, for it to become a real thing.
So here it is ...

I have India's national flag in my room, which happens to be right above my bed. Its the only things thats prominent and the only things that stands out in my room.

It feels great to lie down and stare it for a while. " IT SIMPLY FEELS GREAT " !!!
Its a feeling that only the most honoured men/women get to feel ( this doest not imply that i among those few ).

I sometimes wonder how would it feel to have a the " Tricolor " around your body and and the whole nation/world is watching you. One would understand it only if he/she sacrifises his/her life which is worthy of such an honour.

I know i'll never see such an event where i am the eyecatcher, but this is my dream. I "so" want to have that FLAG on and around me when i die.