Loveleen ek Joke bataoo !!!!


*) Q: How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
A: You wave to him.
*)A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. "I would like to buy this TV," she told the salesman.
"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

"Darn, he recognized me," she thought.

She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new color, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a few days before she again approached the salesman. "I would like to buy this TV."

"Sorry, we don't sell to blondes," he replied.

Frustrated, she exclaimed, "How do you know I'm a blonde?"

"Because that's a microwave," he replied.

*)A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman's face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn't graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks.

The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After all, this was a very delicate matter.

After the surgery was completed, everyone was astounded at the woman's new beauty. She looked more beautiful than she ever had before! All her friends and relatives just went on and on about her youthful beauty!

One day, she was alone with her husband, and she was overcome with emotion at his sacrifice.

She said, "Dear, I just want to thank you for everything you did for me. There is no way I could ever repay you."

"My darling," he replied, "think nothing of it. I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek."

*) I immediately went out and bought a book on anger management. And now I have that book, and I don't know if I'll get to the book. But I'm certainly excited about the day where I can't find the book, and I get to say, 'Where the hell is my anger management book?!'

Winter is Weird !!!

I used to hear that in winters your brain doesnt work. When i say work it means "mental exercise" (@least that is what i thought). But !! But !! i never thought this included " clumsiness ".
And if i were to write a book on "winter acts" which i have seen and njoy people do ( this also includes cryptmaster )i could easily win booker's prize for a comic book ( if such an award exists).

Here is the list:
*) I was about to put washing power in my food insted of salt.
*) ( my usual act ) put my cold coffee in microwave
*) I am always in dilema .. ( for the whole winter season )
*) I also suffer from amneisa ... in winters ofcourse, just in case u guys doubt the length of it duration.
*) I do and re-do things ... ( even if they are "perfecto" ).
*) I eat alot .. u can call me a Pig ( in winters Only !!! ).
*) December is a month of pranks ... ( last december i mailed my US frds that i am going to india. They all called their parents and told them to get some stuff ready for me to bring them. I later .. after a 15 odd days told them ... i was kidding :P... and back home all their stuff was ready for a trip to US of A ..... This year some chick called my lab , mistaking it to be some other office of my university ... i kept her on hold for say about 15 min, before hanging up :P )
*) I laugh alot.. even on serious situations.
*) My obsession with knives reaches another level. ( i am not a serial killer )
*) The 3-4 fts of snow outside hipnotises me sometimes .. and i wanna go out and roll in the snow " NAKED". ( i once did such a thing ... but i had a t-shirt and shorts on... only @ -28*C )


I am tierd now .... enough of self-humiliation.