" BEING ASHISH AGRAWAL"



this is not my biography.but it could well turn out be its close relative.

Faces in the mirror.

FACE 1:
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a happy small kid. hu has everything that a boi could dream of (as a kid). has loving parents and family. njoys moving out, went to the most exciting and lavish destination in the country and beyond. lived out in a foreign land for a year. studies i the most reputed school of the city. i mean he has and he is seeing the the most rosy and gawdy face of life. he has all the traits that an agile, frantic & a menacing ( but not pampered) kid should have. but he is a bit shy and introvert. hez among the top 10-15 students in his class. this makes him feel quite secured, coz hez doing gr8 @ a thing that matters the most in his family. hez growing and watching the sands of time drop slowly. hez changing but everything in his life remains the same, as if they are in hibernation. nothing is now wrong with him except his temper. he just cannot control his temper. but still for him till now life was & is a bed of roses. he is smiling , giggling and njoing his stroll in life. so smooth his life is, no worries, no tension but just the stress of studies curves his forehead skin. .........
AAAAHHHHHH " KYA LIFE HAI"..........


END OF FACE 1




THE TRANSIT, THE FACEOFFF !!!!!!
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the other face in the mirror...... whoz is it ?
the face disappears.......he now sits back but the face still haunts him.
that was the curve of life that was waiting to be discovered. but who was it.....?
some unspoken words said ... "this is how u will be for next few yrs of ur life".
it was the......
FACEOFFFFFF !!!!!!!!! .. with the new me.



FACE 2:
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so here he is looking at his marred face. marred by time, marred by dismay, marred by disgrace, marred by results and god knows what. where ever he went he found nothing but bad luck, humiliation etc etc. he tried to rectify all that went wrong but .... all in vain. the bads were too many to be conquered. he is trying to fix everything, he is trying hard to settle terms with his life. but he knows in his heart its all a waste of time. hez crying , praying ....but therez no one there to answer his laments. all his confidence is lost, he has now a lot more apprehensive than he was b4.
Worst ... hez cursing his very right to live and his birth.

time flies............

** things start to settle down, but the moment he starts to relax, his worst and the most horrendous fears come to life. these are short lived though. these are like impulses that give rise to excruciating pain.
he is now accustomed to all this......
all these morbid realities have hardened his soul.
** he has changed. Again !!!!!




FACE 3:
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** low in confidence, deprived of his dearest dream,...he is now in a place that will for the next one yr. will not show mercy. but still he is njoying life.....living his share of fun he left behind. he is learning ...learning to b more strong, more hard mentally.

** he knows that this is not the life he wanted for himself but he cant help it. he feels that hez in a wrong place .....but this is destiny. he has accepted it.
all was fine but suddenly something happens and he goes off his track. he wants to step back..but he cannot.
** a month passes......and hez back on his way...
and since then its been a joy ride............

** its all fine now......
but the Q is till when?

its always a bumpy ride when you in sea and storms are always around the corner.

***************************************************************************************************************************************


ppl judge him........ they all have different opinions abt him. he just listens patiently...smiles and moves on..... these ppl they dont know him dat well but still the speak as if they know him inside out. keeping his words in his mind he says " live my life and u'll know who i am and what i am".


he has not one but many faces each describes different phases of his life....... how many more faces are left to be discovered he doesnt know.
4 the time being hez satisfied with all those that are reveled to him .....

** he prays to god ...not to make him see anymore.

but life has funny way of teaching us, the moment you think that you are on the right track it turns the traffic against you.... !!


this is what i am ..... and this is what ill be " i guess "

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****Have you ever lived my life?
Spent one minute in my shoes?
If you haven’t then tell me why
You judge me as you do.

Have you ever sat beneath the stars
Hoping God will hear
Have you ever tried to smile
With your eyes blinded by tears.

Have you ever loved so much
That all you are left with is hate
Have you ever seen your family
Torn apart by fate.

Have you ever seen your friend get shot
Outside his favourite store
Have you ever seen a friend die
From drugs he’d never used before

Have you ever failed a test
That meant the world to you
Have you ever packed up all your books
And decide you wouldn’t study anymore.

Have you ever looked at the mirror
When everything goes all wrong
Have you ever felt so lonely
That there’s no one to tell you to be strong

Have you ever felt such hatred
That you hate everything in sight
Have you ever felt such pain
That you cried yourself to sleep at night


Have you ever been an outcast
Have you ever eaten your every meal alone
Have you ever tried so hard to make friends
Only to have people laugh back at you

Have you ever had the feeling
When Christmas and New year means nothing to you
Have you ever celebrated your birthday
By eating a chocolate bar all alone

.
Have you ever lived my life?
Spent one minute in my shoes?
If you haven’t then tell me why
You judge me as you do.


THATS ME........................ ASHISH AGRAWAL.