I AM NOT A RACIST BUT STILL.........................

I studied 4 long years in Nagpur . so whenever I had an off I used to come to Varanasi ( my home town). The Indian Railways used to be my only help. I never had the luxury of using airways as there were no flights between Nagpur and Varanasi.

Well people say that when you travel you meet people of different casts and religion.

You meet all kinds. Rich, poor, handicapped, …scores of people you meet. But after shuttling about 2 dozen times from Nagpur to Varanasi, I feel there is only one kind u meet.

The glamorous “South Indians”.

South Indians are intelligent : no second thoughts on this issue. But they stand tall on the acme of one list as well i.e. “ world’s most messiest people”.

They eat as if they are hungry for years. They speak like a person who is caned to utter with his/her tongue and both the lips stretched side ways. For them train’s pantry is useless. They travel with 2-3 ( 3 lit) containers, full of rice.

I know south Indians are good @ English. I found this true ONLY when the talk to a fellow south Indian.

Yesterdays I was on my way to varanasi from nagpur. As usual I found a big south Indian family companying me to varanasi. All day long they were bust doing “ ayyyyiiiooooo’s” , “illllllleaaaaa”……and many more “iooooz” & “aaaaaz”.

It was 4:30 in the morning, varanasi was scheduled to arrive @ 4:50 am. I stepped down from the upper birth ,where I was trying do dive into my dreams 4 the pas 3 hrs. (‘cos they all were snoring in chorus.

(now I am introducing my inner self as : NARRATOR)

NARRATOR (when the snore melody was on) : do they practice this, must be their time pass.

ME: where are my shoes. God!!! these rice containers. ( my shoes were crushed underneath the rice containers).

A lady (member of the south Indian family wakes up).

LADY: what time?

NARRATOR: what ? is she sleep talking ? or is she talking to me? Who cares..

Ashish was busy getting his shoes back in shape.

LADY (again) : what time?

NARRATOR: What are you taking lady? Go to hell or sleep …or whatever.

ASHISH (responds) : sorry, I didn’t get you.

LADY: what time is it?

NARRATOR: ohhhhhhhhhhh u meant that …… niceeeeeeeee

ASHISH: Its 4:30.

LADY: where?

NARRATOR: lady why are you talking like kids… in monosyllables. “ GAAA GAAAA

GOOOO GOOOO GIIII GAAAA” types .

ASHISH: excuse me!!!!

LADY: Where are we?

NARRATOR: God!!!!!!!!!! are you drunk?

ASHISH: I don’t know but I guess varanasi is nearing. Let me chk.

LADY ( to her family) : aiyooooo VARANASI ……………bla bla bla

NARRATOR : I guess that meant varanasi is near …get up

(will tell u what it actually meant… look for this sign “**” below)

ASHISH (returns after a stroll from the main gate): the train is late by 2 hrs. u can relax

for now.

NARRATOR: he should have said u can carry on with your snoring game.

LADY: what time?

NARRATOR: ohhhh !!!! plzzzzzzz not again the "what" thing .... but wait ashish will get it right this

time.

ASHISH: hmmm I guess we should be there around 6:30 or 7:00.

LADY: hmmmmmm

Ashish goes back to his seat. Tries to sleep but he couldn’t because the family was laughing and talking ( yelling I should say) with their lungs pumped.

NARRATOR : ** now I get it . what that bla bla bla meant. “ hey family varanasi is

Off your beds you snoring creatures and ya don’t let anyone in this

cabin sleep either.