THE " HOLE YYYYYY " BODY :) ..... SO lets play GOLF !!!!!!!!!

my body is now a golf course. Y???. scroll drown.....


i just got admitted in Syracuse Univ. for and a MS course in Electrical Eng. As per the rule book of the univ. i have to go through a series of test , which would determine my present state of health and would also reveal any diseases am carrying.

( American fear Indians i guess.... they consider us a bio hazardous material. well am not sure abt bio hazardous material ..but ya we sure are BIO- "LOGICAL" war HEADS. so obvious this is we are in every sector of US's economy ( and related fields) ... on which US thrives . )

back to the medical tests.

so get all these test done i went to the hospital. now i had to get to the "pathology lab" ( a lab where all the blood , human tissue .... etc tests are done)
when i rchd the lab i told the lap assistant what all test are to be done.
my list had 8 test. he asked me what purpose ... were these tets 4. i told him all the US of A story. he advised me 2 more so i said fine do that.
he then told his junior to take the blood sample.

i then took a chair .. they guy came with a syringe, strapped my biceps. now the needle was in... this is where the game started ......

• he first pushed the needle in ... something happened the ..needle deviated and went some where else. ohhhhhh sorry sorry !!! he said.. he explained what had happened.. and the second time he hit the bull's eye.
• while the my precious blood was rushing into the syringe ... some thing went wrong with the syringe .. it as half full by then . they guy took it out ..and said.. "i'll be puting one more needle in .. something is wrong with this one..... " ... fine i said.
• after a gap of 15min.. when my blood stopped ... he put another needle in . this wroked fine. ( but !!!! but !!! ... SSED [ same shit everyday ].. has to play its role ). the amt of blood he needed was beyond the syringe's limit. so again after 15 min .. i got ready 4 another excavation.!!!!!
• another needle dug in.. !!!!!!! a 20 ml syringe.... niceeeeeeeeee. ohhh my precious blood :((. by gods grace this worked fine as well. the blood guy must be saying in his mind Euuuureeekkaaaaaa !!!!!!!.
• then i got ready for a vaccine... this did well. over in a single prick.

5 picks 2 day. have few more in Q .... so by the end of this month ... my body will be a complete " Golf Course ". with 18 tiny holes or more. huh !!!!!



what a day !!!!!!!!.... am loving it !!!!!!!

Random thoughts :

u can rename the following lines as...... weird expressions , philosophy, ones own perspective, wrds of an upset mind , whatever... these are facts/gospel truth / my exp.

**
we ask ourselves what do fear the most?
we get varied and diversified answers. but still there r few points that are common.
such as "God", "Death", " animals", "humans :)", "heights"... etc.
i pick one of these ...."Death".
i say y do we fear death? its inevitable . wounds r the things that give u cold feet. ( be it psychological wound, physical wound.. ny kind). they prick u more that death .

imagine what all u miss just cos of this "fear of death"... things u love or rather would love doing are so on halt/jailed just cos therez a risk of dying.
but we dont realize that not many ppl are born with that fate. a fate of dying while doing something u love the most .

someone said " if arnt living on the edge u r waisting space". so true this is.
am not saying that we all can throw the whole lot of "fear" inside us away..... but we can @lst control it .

ppl might say after reading this that its all so easy to say ( easier said that done !!) . am aware of that ... but.. as i said it all abt perspective ...

weird ... think !!! what life u want to live , "fear" or "fun"... they both never come in the same package !!!.




**
" Life is beautiful "... this line u'll see in thousand of orkut profiles.
is life really "beautiful". well as per my exp., it not. rather its a "real illusion".
for those it is, they r just loitering ard the boundaries, where they find everything they pine and live for. its then when u cross the boundaries u get the real taste. life was never meant to be easy. its a complex design which is far beyond any man's comprehension. it just looks beautiful from the outside. and... we know "all that glitters is not gold". !!! :)

a quote in a movie said :

facing a loaded gun and facing life is one and the same thing.. there ant ny diff !!!


**
the golden rule " never give advices "..... ppl ask for it, anmd in tern u get 2 hr names !!

or u want to somebody's "bhala". .. u give a just advice. he/she doesn't take it. u try 2 explain one more time.... no use !!!!. and when things go buurrrrrrrr !!!! nuty kinds. the same person say..... " u must have done this". u try to explain again, then u feel like.. u r standing rite next to "sun".

let me rephrase that:

there r 2 dogs. hu r really starving . u have "parle G" biscuits . they come ard u wagging their tails and with all the SLURPPPPP yyy!!!! look. u give them the biscuit. they didnt like it and give a look like " should we go 4 few more... as we dont have ny thing else ard to eat ".
the then dec. not to gulp in ny more.
but then after a while u see that these 2 dogs are after u...and would rip u off , if they get a hold on u. the reason ...................... listen to what they dogs were saying ..

we r almost dead/ starving to death... y didnt u give us more? ... even if we ref. u should have stuffed it in2 us.!!!!!!


the end

woooof wooof .


**
therez one thing i can never trust is the wrd "trust" !!!!!
look ard all u hr and see is " infidelity" . its like use and throw. hu cares abt feelings these days.
whats worst.... ppl keeep back ups. just in case this doesnt wrk out i have the other guy/grl that i can go arn with.
talk abt "computer age .....".

Eating out my days ...... ( Gulp Gulp Gulp ..!!!!!!)


well the title translates like ... am wasting my time these days..nahhh trust me have that my whole life !!! .
so try to read between the lines..... u'll c " i eat all day long" !!!!!!

seriously i eat eat and only eat .....

ppl want me 2 take cooking classes.. .. i say ok... i'll "y" dish 2day u make it .. i'll learn it....
plain and simple. All i do is day dream then and pretend that the dish is in my head on in my stomach aka "paapi peth" . the dish gets it last rites in my stomach. ... and walllllaaaaahhhhhh, the cookery class is done.
i kinda bunk the class and slip in a proxy .


things i get 2 eat these days:

*) Aam papad ( amaawat/ sun dried mango) --- made in thailand ... imagine !!!!
*) lindt and heyshey's chocolates
*) baby corn dishes
*) usual daal chawal.
*) chat ..
etc etc....

SLURPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


NOTE: dont stay on this page ...2 long ... i dont want c patches of saliva ( slimy ones ) here !!!!!!
( filthy na i know.... cant help it )

SOOD SAHAAB >>>>> TO >>>>> SOOD SIR !!!! SOOD SIR!!!!
( cont. )


sood sir !!!! sood sir !!!! also spends time with "RONIT" and his "PROJECT" mates .

sood sir !!!! sood sir !!!! is very serious about his "PROJECT" these days.
u ask him anything his reply is "PROJECT". For him every Q. has one answer .....i.e. "PROJECT".

SOOD SAHAAB >>>>> TO >>>>> SOOD SIR !!!! SOOD SIR!!!!

Sood sahaab has changed. These are the following changes I marked :

1) sood sahaab aka: sood “the studdd” is now SOOD SIR!!!!! SOOD SIR!!!!!

Sood sahaab( in this year’s college fest “JIGYASA”) is now addressed as SOOD SIR!!! SOOD SIR!!!

*** courtesy : PCEA grls..

Sood sir!!!!! Sood sir !!!!! aapko meri team treat degi…. please help us.

2) Arpit Sood is now “C.E.O” Arpit Sood.

Sood sir!!!! Sood sir!!!! …… recently won third prize in a C.E.O hunt comp.


3) Sood Sir Sood Sir !!!!! is now a matured and boring “Road Romeo”.

4) Sood Sir !!!!! Sood Sir!!!! used to read Delhi Times in his younger days , but now he blends his mind with news letters from “the Economic Times”.

5) Sood Sir!!!! Sood Sir!!!! these days enjoys his bed more than roads of Ngp.

In short Sood Sir Sood Sir !!!!! is hell boring these days……..but still grls are go mad 4 him.

I AM NOT A RACIST BUT STILL.........................

I studied 4 long years in Nagpur . so whenever I had an off I used to come to Varanasi ( my home town). The Indian Railways used to be my only help. I never had the luxury of using airways as there were no flights between Nagpur and Varanasi.

Well people say that when you travel you meet people of different casts and religion.

You meet all kinds. Rich, poor, handicapped, …scores of people you meet. But after shuttling about 2 dozen times from Nagpur to Varanasi, I feel there is only one kind u meet.

The glamorous “South Indians”.

South Indians are intelligent : no second thoughts on this issue. But they stand tall on the acme of one list as well i.e. “ world’s most messiest people”.

They eat as if they are hungry for years. They speak like a person who is caned to utter with his/her tongue and both the lips stretched side ways. For them train’s pantry is useless. They travel with 2-3 ( 3 lit) containers, full of rice.

I know south Indians are good @ English. I found this true ONLY when the talk to a fellow south Indian.

Yesterdays I was on my way to varanasi from nagpur. As usual I found a big south Indian family companying me to varanasi. All day long they were bust doing “ ayyyyiiiooooo’s” , “illllllleaaaaa”……and many more “iooooz” & “aaaaaz”.

It was 4:30 in the morning, varanasi was scheduled to arrive @ 4:50 am. I stepped down from the upper birth ,where I was trying do dive into my dreams 4 the pas 3 hrs. (‘cos they all were snoring in chorus.

(now I am introducing my inner self as : NARRATOR)

NARRATOR (when the snore melody was on) : do they practice this, must be their time pass.

ME: where are my shoes. God!!! these rice containers. ( my shoes were crushed underneath the rice containers).

A lady (member of the south Indian family wakes up).

LADY: what time?

NARRATOR: what ? is she sleep talking ? or is she talking to me? Who cares..

Ashish was busy getting his shoes back in shape.

LADY (again) : what time?

NARRATOR: What are you taking lady? Go to hell or sleep …or whatever.

ASHISH (responds) : sorry, I didn’t get you.

LADY: what time is it?

NARRATOR: ohhhhhhhhhhh u meant that …… niceeeeeeeee

ASHISH: Its 4:30.

LADY: where?

NARRATOR: lady why are you talking like kids… in monosyllables. “ GAAA GAAAA

GOOOO GOOOO GIIII GAAAA” types .

ASHISH: excuse me!!!!

LADY: Where are we?

NARRATOR: God!!!!!!!!!! are you drunk?

ASHISH: I don’t know but I guess varanasi is nearing. Let me chk.

LADY ( to her family) : aiyooooo VARANASI ……………bla bla bla

NARRATOR : I guess that meant varanasi is near …get up

(will tell u what it actually meant… look for this sign “**” below)

ASHISH (returns after a stroll from the main gate): the train is late by 2 hrs. u can relax

for now.

NARRATOR: he should have said u can carry on with your snoring game.

LADY: what time?

NARRATOR: ohhhh !!!! plzzzzzzz not again the "what" thing .... but wait ashish will get it right this

time.

ASHISH: hmmm I guess we should be there around 6:30 or 7:00.

LADY: hmmmmmm

Ashish goes back to his seat. Tries to sleep but he couldn’t because the family was laughing and talking ( yelling I should say) with their lungs pumped.

NARRATOR : ** now I get it . what that bla bla bla meant. “ hey family varanasi is

Off your beds you snoring creatures and ya don’t let anyone in this

cabin sleep either.

Our Greatest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light , not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of god. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make and manifest the glory of god that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson

SAD HAM GRILLED!!!!


A few days back Mr. Saddam Hussein was hanged. a dictator "man"executed by a dictator "country". the following words will present my insight ....probing into his death.

Q) was Saddam's execution just?
A) this is hard to answer. a harsh punishment was expected and necessary for him.
yes his hanging was indeed just if one looks @ his "bloody" deeds. all this is well justified by the blood of the inocent ppl that he took in as RED WINE.
But if u look @ the manner in which he was hanged , then one realises that how biassed and flawed the judicial system is. had the trial been fair saddam would have got 6,7, may be 10 life sentences. but still no one can deny that fact that the "hanged till death" decision had more substance when the both "hang" and "life sentence" were being weighed. the influence of US on saddam's hanging was so great that even saddam's lawers ( 4 of them) had to give their lives to lessen the load. saddam was not even allowed to put any defending points in the court. and lastly he was hanged just b4 a festival. the "hang man" game should have been played after that festive day.


Q) What would you call Saddam?
a) "saheed" ( a patriot who dies for country's honour and pride )
b) just a dictator
c) phsyco killer

A) as for me (b) and (c). he was not at all a "saheed".
calling him "saheed" would be abusing many many patriots. he was a mentally sick. not even a childs death could melt his hard head and stoned heart.


Q) what would you do if u were to punish Mr. Saddam?
a) hang him
b) shoot him
c) sentence him for life

A) i'll shoot him and that to with a sniper.....aaaaannnnnnnd ..in the middle of his head.
that would make him feel how fast death sprints.



well i told him not to njoy playing "HANG MAN".