So here i am writing a new post, in a new blog on old blog site.
Why did i not post all this while? Well i guess I needed change. I feel the need to box my belongings molecular or digital and let them become antiques. May be someday when I am ready to relive the past i might just open them up. But as of now i just dont want to hold on to my past.
This coming year (2010) I will move to another place for PhD and leave Syracuse for good. Yahh read that again and in between.. “FOR GOOD”. And i hope the day comes soon.
In the last one year I have seen transforming into a dull, boring homosapien. Even a mannequin would be more fun to hangout with. Just to elaborate a bit more, if i were to hang out with myself i would have jumped in Hudson bay in the snowy winter cold of NY just for some excitement.
If I jog my memory a little bit I was never like this before. I always had things to do, crazy friends to have fun with. Every new day was never like a burden in fact it meant a fresh set of 24 hrs to do some new, crazy and fun. High School was magical, Undergard was crazy, Grad School is as dull as dishwater.
Grad School: Well i cant exactly blame Grad School I am the one to be blamed and yes the restricted, monotonous life of a grad student. If I look deep into grad school life, its actually not as bad as i thought i was. I was the one who was making it boring. I realized i am used to a life style ( courtesy: 4 yrs of Undergrad) which is a polar opposite of gard school life. The worst part: “I never adapted, I never learned”. I was trying to live like i used to, but it was near to impossible and used get frustrated, wondering what to do how keep myself all hyper. 1st year went by nicely. In 2nd year my priorities changed. This included a certain person or a group of people, fixing my boring life, finding out what to do and yes of course my career.
It was a mess. Nothing was going right. And one fine day all fell apart. I broke my own rules and allowed people and circumstances to change me. It was a mistake and a lesson well learnt.
Friends: “Forsake not an old friend; for the new is not comparable to him: a new friend is as new wine; when it is old, thou shalt drink it with pleasure”.
Whosoever wrote those line knew what he was writing. I have made friends and a shit load of them, but i know only few of them will always be there when i need them. And I feel I am happy and lucky to have them, a few more to the group would only make me proud and ultra lucky :D.
Although my definition of friendship has changed a lot since i came here. I always thought i was scary judge of character, but I guess I was little early to make that conclusion. I have friends here but i dont know how many of them are my close.
I was taught: “make you own principles and follow them religiously” and ” trust only those who without being selfish will stand up for you”.
I forgot them all. Did wrong things and trusted fake, selfish people.
Anyways whats done is done. So i will not change but adapt. From now i will do everything that i used to do and always wanted to do but for some odd reason never ventured into.
My plans for coming few year:
* Start playing my guitar again.
* Buy a car and go around US. (I really miss my Undergrad bike adventures)
* Every year I’ll go to 2 countries for a week each.
* Start writing again.
* Spend less time on computer and do some real things
* Study 4 days a week and work my a** off. But not become a nerd. The remaining 3 days do all the above things plus party :D.
Easier said than done, but i will do my best to keep up. !!